Sunday, June 26, 2011

My Wife, She is Amazing!

I've been accused of many things in my life, and wanting a housewife has actually been one of them.  Is it wrong, for a woman, to want a housewife?  Is this somehow wrong for me to want because I'm not interested in being with men on a daily life basis, and men are the creators of the "housewife"?  I don't think so, but I suppose others might think this.

My ex friend, who's now my exes partner of roughly 5 years, was actually the one who accused me of this as if it were the most unjust thing on the planet that I could request or wish for.  Mind you, I never asked my ex to be a housewife, I merely wanted her to do her half of the household chores, at least, since I kept up with all the bills, made sure we had things in order so we could function, and was starting up a business to help us eventually move to another area where she could be closer to her family (as this was all she seemed to want, and told me as much, during our relationship of over 9 years).  I would come home during my lunch breaks at an office job and do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, make things tidy, pay the bills, etc.  My ex would come home after a day at work and read...or find other fun things to do.  I'd try to find time to spend with her but she'd rather be doing her own thing.  Now, I'm sure you can already tell from here that the relationship was doomed by this point - and it did take quite a few years to get to this degree of self absorbency on her end, but it was there and it was obvious to not only me.

As things started to get harder for me to handle (full time job with a 45/min to an hour drive each way for work, as the job moved farther out, starting a small business and working that at night, still paying all the bills and doing housework and errands on the weekends), she started to move further and further away, and that's okay - life is what it is and deals you the hand you are dealt, how you play it is up to you.  Sometimes I'm a very stealthy Poker player and sometimes I honestly suck.  This is probably the reason I'm not wealthy.  LOL

The ex friend, who was a friend at the time, was actually "hired" to assist us in cleaning up the house over the course of a couple of days - she was out of work, and we both thought we were helping.  This, somehow, led to her telling me that all I wanted out of my ex was a housewife...and, after we were broken up she accused me of this again.  This once again brings me back to, is that so wrong to want?

I was just sitting here thinking about how wonderful C is to me.  She's making deviled eggs right now, she did laundry yesterday.  She takes care of the kitty boxes and vacuuming every other day.  She's been talked into (*wink wink*) making her famous Alfredo sauce to go with the chicken strips she's making today, and we'll have that with low-carb pasta and a salad tonight.  It's our day off, and she's busy doing household things, and she's happy doing that.

When I met C, she told me she was raised to be a housewife.  I told her I was raised to be a husband, the provider, to make sure all things were taken care of, the bills were paid on time, the family happy.  My mother, of course, wanted me to get married to a young man (any) who were in the religion I was raised and be an obedient housewife myself, but that was not me, and I knew that from a very, very early age.  I followed my father's lead, and to this day wish I would have learned more from him (in fixing cars, electrical repairs, etc. - the man is like MacGuyver, and can even cook and grow things!).  I did, however, follow in my mothers footsteps in the sense that she paid all the bills and had the business at home.  Hmmm...again, I'm proving that I'm a split of my folks.

Anyway, back to wives.  C also told me she wanted to be a housewife.  She preferred to work part time or stay at home and work, having the freedom to clean the house, take care of the children (and we have 5, at this point, none of them of the human kind), make meals, and be a good caregiver and solid ruler of the house.  She is just that...she does rule with an iron fist at times, and honestly I'm quite happy with that.  She is my June, and I'm happy to say I'm her Ward...and yes, one of our babies acts like The Beaver (we also have an Eddie Haskell).  

I love having a wife.  I love knowing, also, that if something happens to me things will get done!  I recently had surgery (my...4th in 2 years - ya, that's too many...), and I haven't been able to do as much as I'd like, and I'm constantly told to "not work so much, take it easy like the doctor said."  I know that if I do things will still get done, I don't have to worry about that.  THAT is amazing.

Sometimes I feel like I've got it easy - like I should be doing more than I am...and maybe I should be - but I hope that if I am slacking C will tell me.  She usually does.



  1. There is nothing at all wrong about it!

    You're not wanting to diminish her as a person, which is too often the problem in het couples where the man wants a housewife. Of course that's not always the case and it's an unfair stereotype, but who of us haven't seen a man turn nasty to his wife after she gives up her career to breed and cook? I'm not saying the power differential doesn't exist in same-sex couples, but the ruts are not worn as deep perhaps.

    BUT, I don't even think you really want a housewife - you just want somebody to do their part. A partner, to share responsibilities, to step up when necessary.

    That's what I want, too! And I think there's nothing wrong with it at all!